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"Television - Drug of a nation*"

All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching?
~Nicholas Johnson

I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness," but that doesn't work.
~Author Unknown

How can you put on a meaningful drama when, every fifteen minutes, proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper?
~Rod Serling, quoted in Submitted for Your Approval, Public Broadcasting Station, 1995

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
~Author Unknown

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
~Ann Landers

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.
~Groucho Marx

Television has changed a child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.
~Author Unknown

We cannot blame the schools alone for the dismal decline in SAT verbal scores. When our kids come home from school do they pick up a book or do they sit glued to the tube, watching music videos? Parents, don't make the mistake of thinking your kid only learns between 9:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.
~George Bush

If you came and you found a strange man... teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you'd kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don't think twice about it.
~Jerome Singer

Television: A medium - so called because it is neither rare nor well done.
~Ernie Kovacs

Today, watching television often means fighting, violence and foul language - and that's just deciding who gets to hold the remote control.
~Donna Gephart

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.
~David Frost

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

They say that ninety percent of TV is junk. But, ninety percent of everything is junk.
~Gene Roddenberry

Time has convinced me of one thing. Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
~Noel Coward, attributed

TV. If kids are entertained by two letters, imagine the fun they'll have with twenty-six. Open your child's imagination. Open a book.
~Author Unknown

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly, that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
~Ray Bradbury, The Golden Apples of the Sun

Television: chewing gum for the eyes.
~Frank Lloyd Wright

Television keeps the masses occupied. What if everyone decided they wanted to make something of their lives? Television keeps the competition down and keeps more criminals off the street. What if everyone decided to go to law school or medical school? It would sure make it tough on the rest of us.
~Jim Urbanovich

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
~Alfred Hitchcock

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
~Joey Adams

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new type program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
~Art Buchwald, "Adding Insult to Injury," Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity.
~Malcolm Muggeridge

Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence.
~Attributed to Gene Baylos

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
~Matt Groening, The Simpsons

Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
~Alfred Hitchcock

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
~Orson Welles

Theatre is life. Cinema is art. Television is furniture.
~Author Unknown

Television is not the Truth. Television is god-damned amusement park. Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers and football players. We're in the boredom killing business.
~Paddy Chayevsky

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.
~Malcolm Muggeridge

Star Trek fans usually know the metaphors of life better than most mainstream poets.
~Audra Foveo-Alba

Television's perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are watching the bubbles in the primeval ooze. You don't have to concentrate. You don't have to react. You don't have to remember. You don't miss your brain because you don't need it. Your heart and liver and lungs continue to function normally. Apart from that, all is peace and quiet. You are in the man's nirvana. And if some poor nasty minded person comes along and say you look like a fly on a can of garbage, pay him no mind. He probably hasn't got the price of a television set.
~Raymond Chandler

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that they're scraping the top of the barrel.
~Gore Vidal

The marvels - of film, radio, and television - are marvels of one-way communication, which is not communication at all.
~Milton Mayer

Whenever it's on it's like having somebody in my house that I want to get rid of and they won't leave. I hate the sound of it. All that noise and light coming from a piece of furniture.
~John Waters

Philo began laying out his vision for what television could become. Above all else... television would become the world's greatest teaching tool. Illiteracy would be wiped out. The immediacy of television was the key. As news happened viewers would watch it unfold live; no longer would we have to rely on people interpreting and distorting the news for us. We would be watching sporting events and symphony orchestras. Instead of going to the movies, the movies would come to us. Television would also bring about world peace. If we were able to see people in other countries and learn about our differences, why would there be any misunderstandings? War would be a thing of the past.
~Evan I. Schwartz, The Last Lone Inventor, about Philo T. Farnsworth, the inventor of television

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.
~Marvin Minksy

In Beverley Hills, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into television shows.
~Woody Allen

If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
~Lily Tomlin

The same media people that claim violence on TV doesn't influence people, are perfectly willing to sell you advertising time.
~Author Unknown

I have come to the feeling about television the way I do about hamburgers: I eat a lot of hamburgers and I don't remember a single one of them.
~John Barrow, 1973

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
~Johnny Carson

There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.
~Harriet van Horne

When television came roaring in after the war (World War II) they did a little school survey asking children which they preferred and why - television or radio. And there was this 7-year-old boy who said he preferred radio "because the pictures were better."
~Alistair Cooke


* Television, the Drug of the nation. Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy 

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